Snail Dad Mode – Unisex Sweatshirt

Description

Slow. Steady. Softly judging. This unisex sweatshirt is for the elite few who have embraced full-time Snail Dad Mode — protectors of tiny shells, masters of the chill, and champions of slow living.

Whether you’re herding snails (respect), vibing in the garden, or just moving through life one sluggish step at a time, this cozy classic has your back. Literally. It says “I care deeply… but also I’m tired.”

Perfect for dads, snail enthusiasts, or anyone whose spirit animal is a slightly anxious garden buddy with slime.

⭐ Product Features:

• • 🔄 Seamless Swagger
    Knit in one piece using tubular magic—no side seams, no weird puckering. Just clean lines and good vibes.
  • 🧶 Ribbed Collar That Knows Its Job
    Highly elastic and holds its shape like a champ, even after one too many “just five more minutes” snoozes.
  • 🧵 Double-Needle Stitching = Double the Sass Support
    Reinforced in all the right places—shoulders, cuffs, neck, waistband. Tough love, sweatshirt-style.
  • 🛋️ Medium-Heavy Fabric = Ultimate Couch Companion
    A cozy 50/50 blend of cotton and polyester (8.0 oz/yd²) that feels like a warm hug from someone who doesn’t talk too much.
  • 🏷️ Tear-Away Tag = No More Neck Itch Tantrums
    Soft, pearlized, and ready to be ripped out of your life—like that one toxic ex.
  • 🌿 Sustainability with Style
    Made with 100% ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX-certified dyes. Good for your closet and your conscience.

🧼 Care Instructions (Because You’ve Got Better Things to Do):

• • 🧊 Machine wash cold (like your iced coffee)
  • 🚫 Non-chlorine bleach when necessary (but go easy, champ)
  • 🔥 Tumble dry low (no high-heat drama)
  • ❌ Do not iron (we don’t do wrinkle stress here)
  • ❌ No dry cleaning (you’re not that high-maintenance)